30+ Women Share How to Celebrate Your Baby’s Birthday or Due Date After They Die — The Morning (2023)

ARTICLE BY THE JOYFUL MOURNING COMMUNITY

One of the most common questions a grieving mom asks after her baby has died is, “How do I celebrate my baby’s birthday?” or “How can I honor my baby’s due date?” The tension of grieving the fact that your baby isn’t in your arms on such a special day while also still wanting to mother your baby while displaying your love for them can feel overwhelming.

We asked grieving moms - real women who have experienced pregnancy and infant loss - what their favorite ways are to celebrate or honor their baby after they died. 30+ women answered. Here’s Part I about how to celebrate your baby’s birthday or due date after they died.

PS: We hope you know that there is no right or wrong way to celebrate and honor your baby. No matter how briefly you carried your baby or how many memories you have or don’t have with your baby, you can honor and celebrate them in whatever way feels right to you. Whether you prepare a large celebration or barely acknowledge the day, your baby is still immensely loved and not forgotten.

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Ways to celebrate your baby’s due date:

I'm coming up on my due date and I'm really scared for that day. We are planning on going on a hike, planting a butterfly bush, and baking a cake. Hopefully it helps! - K.

We just passed his due date and literally made no plans for the day -- and then I felt guilty for doing that but also realized that’s okay - A.

We typically go out to dinner on what would have been baby's due date. The first year we planted a rose bush on this day. - K.

I have a birthstone necklace I wear for the month that my baby was due. It makes me feel like they are with me. -L.

I had a 2nd trimester loss for my first and only pregnancy. On baby’s due date, I will get some arrangement of white and yellow flowers. - Megan

I have had two second trimester losses. On their due dates, we buy a small cake and I make one of the things I craved while pregnant for dinner. When buying the cake I also pay for a child’s birthday cake order at the bakery. I give a little note that says happy birthday from our family and sign it “June’s mom” or “Jack’s mom”depending on whose special day it was. - Stephanie

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Ways to celebrate your baby’s birthday in Heaven:

My baby was stillborn and we celebrate his birthday. I collect flowers from around our block/area and take them to the cemetery. It’s not always the prettiest bunch but I like to do this myself as I collect things he would’ve seen as we walked together. We play a song that reminds us of him and listen to our “Theodore playlist” on the drive, which has songs that brought us comfort after he died. We pray and thank God for him. - Lauren

I planted tulips all over our garden because they remind me of her. I’ll take the day off. Write her a letter and take a walk to her tree. We will have some nice dinner in the evening and thank God that we had her even though only inside of me but forever in our hearts. - Daniela

We just had our daughter’s first birthday a couple days ago. She was 2.5 months old when she passed. I didn’t know what to do, but we did get a cake for her and we had her brother blow out the candle. We talked about her and looked at pictures all day. People had sent flowers to the house for her which was totally unexpected, but I really loved it. It brought some beauty to an otherwise pretty gray day. - Avery

I also like to do acts of kindness/service as a family in his name. We collected lovies and board books for the local NICU for his birthday. We did a small gathering of just grandparents with a special theme on his birthday and unboxed all the donations to prepare them to deliver. I got a flag for the cemetery made and a matching one for our house with a turtle on it that says happy first birthday. I went to visit him and took a cupcake and sang happy birthday later. I had to do that on my own. - Rebecca

Every month on the anniversary of her birthday we go to a nice restaurant and have a cake for dessert. We pray God would let her know that we’re still celebrating her life on earth. - Fernanda

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We play board games and spend time together as a family, get a cake, and send up a fire lantern. There’s something similar to watching it float up and disappear to his soul departing. - Kati

I usually dress my living children in something that feels meaningful to me for their brother they never met. I also wear special jewelry that day & other meaningful days to us. M.

I have a birthday journal I started writing in this past year on his birthday— just a simple private moment for me to remember him and thank God for him. We also light our Laurelbox candle and sing happy birthday. A.

We have a cake and do something fun on what would have been his/ her birthday. It really helps. M.

We take the day off, buy cupcakes, sunflowers, and sing happy birthday. This May our baby would have been three. I’m thinking of buying something that we would have bought for a 3 year old and donating it somewhere for a 3 year old in need. C.

On Ethan’s birthday, we usually visit the cemetery as a family and always eat Del Taco because I craved it all throughout my pregnancy with him and it makes me think of those days when we were still together.Then we go home and have cake together. Some years I’ve made it myself, other years we’ve bought one from a bakery or a grocery store. I like to give myself a lot of extra space to be flexible on Ethan’s birthday because I’m never sure how I’ll feel. - K.

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We’ve planned a trip away to the beach on what would have been Jace’s first birthday. I’m nervous about how I’ll feel doing something “fun” but I knew it was better for me to already have a game plan so I wasn’t unprepared when the date came. I think we will release lanterns in his honor while at the beach too! - D.

We go to the cemetery first thing in the morning on their birthdays and have a cup of coffee with them. Then at the time they were born, we go back to the cemetery with balloons and cake and sing happy birthday while letting the wind blow out the candle. We leave a piece of cake there for a bird to carry up to Heaven (I think I picked this idea up here!) and eat whatever I was craving with each of my boys for dinner. - S.

On what would have been their birthdays , my family & I do random acts of kindness in their names. I.

We give Cadbury Eggs and candles to all our family members. I craved them when I was pregnant. Every year we poke holes in the top light our candles, sing happy birthday and blow them out. I have so many sweet FaceTime videos of the last several years of all of us together doing it. People usually send me Cadbury egg photos too. It’s been a lovely little tradition. A.

We decorate & go out to dinner. We have an ice cream cake & sing Happy Birthday to Remy. We also try to donate to a charity in his honor. -J.

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Encouragement for you as you plan to honor or celebrate your baby:

The best advice I ever got was do what’s right for your heart. Do not feel obligated to make a big production if it doesn’t feel right. Respectfully tell people no if they suggest a way to honor your baby that doesn’t feel right to your heart. I had to draw a lot of boundaries for his birthday, and I’m so glad I did. It was hard enough with the boundaries in place. - Rebecca

FAQs

How do you honor the birthday of a deceased child? ›

11 ways to celebrate
  1. 1 | Make or order a birthday cake. ...
  2. 2 | Visit the cemetery and decorate with flowers. ...
  3. 3 | Have a sky lantern release or butterfly release. ...
  4. 4 | Make or buy a personalized piece of jewelry. ...
  5. 5 | Write a letter to your child. ...
  6. 6 | Buy a book that is age appropriate for the age your child would be turning.
10 Oct 2017

How do you celebrate your first birthday in heaven? ›

I think our loved ones would want us to have a good time remembering them!
  1. Make Your Loved Ones Favorite Meal Or Eat Out At Their Favorite Restaurant. ...
  2. Throw A Birthday Party! ...
  3. Movie Night! ...
  4. Spend The Day Doing Something Your Loved One Enjoyed Doing. ...
  5. Recreate A Favorite Pastime. ...
  6. Plant Something In Their Honor.
8 Apr 2019

How do you celebrate your due date? ›

Ten Things To Do On Your Due Date
  1. Take the word "overdue" out of your vocabulary. ...
  2. Put away your phone. ...
  3. Go for a walk. ...
  4. Resist the urge to google "how to start labor". ...
  5. Use "the hand". ...
  6. Go get a pedicure and splurge on the foot massage add-on. ...
  7. Schedule something fun to do every day for the next 10 days.
6 Jul 2017

How do angels celebrate their baby's birthday? ›

Bake your own cake and sing happy birthday to your heavenly baby. Don't forget those candles! Invite a few friends and family members, or keep it small. We all know too well that life is short, hug your loved ones extra hard at this get-together.

How do you wish someone a happy birthday in heaven? ›

Sending you plenty of light and laughter on your special day! You were taken away from us too soon, but I trust that you are in a better place. You have been my best pal and I still talk to the sky as if I was talking to you. I hope you are doing well in Heaven, happy birthday my friend.

How do you celebrate a grieving birthday? ›

Ways to Honor a Deceased Spouse or Partner's Birthday
  1. Uphold traditions. Whether you enjoyed just a few years together or 50 years, you and your spouse or partner probably had birthday traditions. ...
  2. Purchase a keepsake or keepsake jewelry. ...
  3. Spend it with friends and family. ...
  4. Write a letter. ...
  5. Visit the grave. ...
  6. Light a candle.
16 Nov 2022

What is birthday after death called? ›

heavenly birthday (plural heavenly birthdays) A birthday of a person after his or her death.

What does first birthday in heaven mean? ›

Happy-birthday-in-heaven Definition

Said or written to a deceased person on his or her birthday in order to convey the good wishes of the speaker or writer.

What Bible says about birthday celebration? ›

Psalm 118:24

This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it. We are encouraged to rejoice in this verse, which is especially important on someone's birthday.

What to do when you've passed your due date? ›

If you are past your due date, your doctor may begin checking to see if your cervix is getting soft and opening up. Depending on how you and your baby are doing, your doctor may recommend using certain medicines or other methods to induce (start) labor.

What should I do the last day before my baby? ›

We have some tips that will make the countdown less stressful and make sure you're as prepared as possible for your family's new addition.
  • Get in some quality time with loved ones. ...
  • Get ready for the hospital. ...
  • Pick up any last-minute baby necessities. ...
  • Stock your freezer. ...
  • Call in the troops. ...
  • Rest, rest, rest!
22 Jan 2014

What can I do if my due date has passed? ›

Your health care provider may suggest ways to help get labor started, such as:
  1. Ripening the cervix. You might be given medicine to soften and expand (ripen) your cervix. ...
  2. Sweeping the membranes of the amniotic sac. ...
  3. Rupturing the amniotic sac. ...
  4. Using medication to start contractions.

How do you honor a lost baby? ›

Some parents plant a tree to commemorate their baby, while others might buy a special piece of jewelry or plan a ceremony with close family. Joining online support groups can also help parents connect with other families who have gone through similar experiences.

How do you honor a lost child? ›

Ways To Honour and Remember Your Baby...
  1. Keep a memory box of your baby's special items. ...
  2. Buy a piece of memorial jewellery with your child's name and special date on, or with their prints on. ...
  3. Write a blog to record your journey after losing your precious baby. ...
  4. Write a letter to your baby.

Who is the angel for babies? ›

"Suffer the little children to come unto me, but don't let the children suffer." Naarai and her servants are charged with protecting the children of the world.

How do you say happy birthday to your child in Heaven? ›

Quotes that Say "Happy Birthday in Heaven, Son"
  1. "Memories saturate my heart and the story of you spills from my eyes." — ...
  2. "Any woman who'd ever lost a child knew of the hollowness that remained within the soul." — ...
  3. "We do not 'get over' a death. ...
  4. "Life is the only thing which can never be replaced when lost." —
6 May 2022

Is it OK to celebrate birthday of deceased? ›

When a loved one dies, is there a reason to note the date anymore? Anticipating the birthday of a deceased person is a part of grief for many people. It's a perfectly natural way to honor the relationship you shared, even if they are no longer here to participate.

What is your heavenly birthday? ›

Heavenly-birthday Definition

A birthday of a person after his or her death.

What is a gift after death called? ›

Bequests are gifts that are made as part of a will or trust. A bequest can be to a person, or it can be a charitable bequest to a nonprofit organization, trust or foundation. Anyone can make a bequest—in any amount—to an individual or charity.

What is life after death called? ›

The afterlife (also referred to as life after death) is a purported existence in which the essential part of an individual's identity or their stream of consciousness continues to live after the death of their physical body.

What is the best prayer for birthday? ›

May God bless you on your birthday, and always. Happy birthday to you! Today I celebrate the life that God has given you, and give thanks to Him for the many blessings you bring to my life. May the LORD bless you on your birthday, and may your day be filled with joy and your year full of many blessings.

What is the spiritual meaning of a birthday? ›

Each soul that comes to this earthly plane was longing for the gift of having a spiritual growth in a human body. Birthday is the day when the whole Universe was rejoicing, and all the forces of nature and the people around you were helping you to come and celebrate your life. A new life has been born!

What God say about celebrating? ›

Just as it says in Zephaniah 3:17: "The Lord thy God in the midst of thee is mighty; he will save, he will rejoice over thee with joy; he will rest in his love, he will joy over thee with singing."

How do I pass time waiting for my baby? ›

How To Pass The Time While Waiting For Your Baby To Arrive
  1. Distract yourself. Don't keep focusing on when/if/how… ...
  2. Do the things you won't get a chance to do after baby arrives. ...
  3. Stay active. ...
  4. Stay off social media. ...
  5. Have some good laughs. ...
  6. Have sex! ...
  7. Try to treasure this time. ...
  8. Last but not least – TRUST!

Do first time moms go past due date? ›

About 5% of babies are born on their due date. In one study… 81% having their first baby went past the due date. 61% of second, third or later pregnancies went past the due date.

Can a cervix ripen overnight? ›

It is not uncommon for the cervical ripening to take up to 24-36 hours!! It is also not uncommon to use different techniques to ripen the cervix. You may feel contractions during this process. If the contractions become painful, you will be able to request medication to relieve your discomfort.

What should I wash before baby comes? ›

What Should be Pre-Washed Before Your Baby Arrives?
  • Baby clothes.
  • Any baby accessories made of fabric.
  • Blankets and swaddle blankets.
  • Stuffed animals and other cloth toys.

Do you need to wash clothes before baby? ›

Washing baby clothes before use: is it necessary? The short answer to this is yes: it's always best to give new clothes a wash before your little one starts wearing them. Baby clothes can easily pick up dust, dirt, and other irritants between the warehouse and your home.

What should couples do before baby arrives? ›

Here are some ideas of what to do as a couple before baby arrives.
  • Babymoon. Plan a trip! ...
  • Netflix binge. ...
  • Take naps. ...
  • Sign up for a birthing class. ...
  • Plan a fun meal of eating “baby” food together. ...
  • Have a spa day. ...
  • Do something fancy before baby arrives. ...
  • Dream about the future.

What age is late pregnancy? ›

Advanced maternal age describes a pregnancy where the birthing person is older than 35. Pregnant people over age 35 are more at risk for complications like miscarriage, congenital disorders and high blood pressure. Screening tests can help detect certain congenital disorders.

How can I make my water break? ›

There are no proven safe ways for a woman to break her water at home. It can be dangerous if the water breaks before natural labor begins or before the baby is fully developed. During the natural process of labor, the water breaks when the baby's head puts pressure on the amniotic sac, causing it to rupture.

Do girls come later than boys? ›

They found that 26.5 percent of the male babies were born at 41 weeks, compared to 22.5 percent of females. Only 7.6 percent percent of male babies and 5.5 percent of female babies were in the womb 42 weeks or longer.

What is a butterfly baby? ›

Epidermolysis bullosa is a rare genetic condition that makes skin so fragile that it can tear or blister at the slightest touch. Children born with it are often called “Butterfly Children” because their skin seems as fragile as a butterfly wing. Mild forms may get better with time.

What is a sunshine baby? ›

The "sunshine" symbol is often used to refer to calm moments before a storm. In the same way, a sunshine baby is one born before you encounter a loss. This loss may result from: Miscarriage: the loss of a pregnancy in the first 20 to 24 weeks.

What color is the miscarriage flower? ›

A card with a heartfelt message—even if it is just a few simple sentences—it can mean a lot. Other tips for choosing the right flowers as a gift for someone who miscarried include: Type of flowers: White orchids, daisies and other white blooms mixed with greens are common flowers people send to someone who miscarried.

What is a mother called who has lost a child? ›

What's a Vilomah? Vilomah is a word gaining acceptance to describe a parent who has lost a child. Expectation from the natural life-cycle is that a child will out-live the parent. There are times when this is not the case and the child passes away before the parent.

How can you know your guardian angel? ›

And the best way to get to know your guardian angels is by simply interacting with them.
...
Who Is My Guardian Angel? Connect To Yours Using These 4 Spiritual Practices
  1. Learn their names. sleep support+ ...
  2. Ask them to send you a sign. ...
  3. Dedicate a song to them. ...
  4. Write them a letter.

What angel is the protector of children? ›

Michael The Archangel Helps Kids.

Does every child have a guardian angel? ›

EVERYBODY HAS A GUARDIAN ANGEL: God gives every child a Guardian Angel and joins them together with one heart.

What is a deceased birthday called? ›

heavenly birthday (plural heavenly birthdays) A birthday of a person after his or her death.

How do you honor the memories of your loved ones who already passed away? ›

9 Ways to Honor a Loved One Who Has Passed
  1. Keep something of theirs with you. ...
  2. Support a cause close to their heart, and yours. ...
  3. Make a tribute donation to a nonprofit. ...
  4. Create a living reminder. ...
  5. Dedicate an event to their memory. ...
  6. Start a new tradition. ...
  7. Share their stories and photos. ...
  8. Live your best life.
3 Feb 2018

What should we do immediately after death? ›

To Do Immediately After Someone Dies
  1. Get a legal pronouncement of death.
  2. Tell friends and family.
  3. Find out about existing funeral and burial plans.

How long after someone dies Should you have a celebration of life? ›

A memorial service or celebration of life can be held any time after death. You may choose to make arrangements immediately, though it is also acceptable to wait several weeks or even months.

What does your death date mean? ›

Definition: The date on which the person died.

Is it possible to see someone who has passed away? ›

It's normal to see, hear or sense someone who has died. While this might be scary and unsettling, it doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you.

How do you connect with loved ones who have passed on? ›

It is still possible to communicate with or about a loved one after they have died. This can include writing them letters, sharing stories about them with close relations or strangers who ask, or speaking to them directly.

How do you share a loved one's memory? ›

  1. 13 ways to keep a lost loved one's memory alive. ...
  2. Make a charitable donation in your loved one's name. ...
  3. Visit a meaningful place. ...
  4. Write letters. ...
  5. Create a garden inspired by your loved one's memory. ...
  6. Light a candle in honor of remembering a lost loved one. ...
  7. Designate and dedicate a legacy bench, plaque, or paver.

How do you continue someone's legacy? ›

Four Ways to Honor Someone's Memory and Keep Their Legacy Alive
  1. Tell their stories. Recalling your favorite stories–the ones that really showcase who they were–and sharing them out loud can be a great way to honor someone. ...
  2. Do something they loved. ...
  3. Spend your time wisely. ...
  4. Fundraise.
27 Jan 2022

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